Hey, move over apples and pears! It’s time to bring on the carrots! And we’re talking about life-size carrots in the form of women, literally speaking. Why? Because a certain Dr Class Ingram said so in his book “The Body Shape Diet”, in which he described women with long and thin bodies as carrots. Apparently, a woman who fits the description of the orange vegetable comes with a pouch below her belly button, a receding chin, and a narrow and pointy head. She also can be recognized by her fine, straight hair and her index fingers, which are longer than her ring fingers. And she is definitely unlike her apple counterparts with their roundish figure, squared heads, or her pear peers who are narrow at the top and large at the bottom with enormous buttocks.
Pepe Le Pew, the amorous skunk perpetually pursuing Penelope Pussycat, wrote to Viva Woman recently to help with his grooming. Well, he has a very serious personal hygiene issue and he couldn’t find a skunk groomer to help him. I was rather reluctant initially but I relented because of this he wrote: “I am the broken heart of love. I am the disillusioned. I am wish to enlist in the Foreign Legion so I may forget.” Plus he was threatening to appear in my presence if I didn’t help him.
Hey VivaBellas! Have you met the extended family of Mr Cotton Bud yet? No? Oh you mean you don’t know the helpful Mr Cotton Bud? Okay, how about Mr Q-tips? You know, he’s that guy that looks like a small wad of white cotton wrapped around one end of a short plastic rod? Yeah, how would you not know him right? Well, I thought I’ll take a break from the usual posts and introduce you to his distant cousins from the land of the rising sun. Say konnichiwa to the cute little fellas – Mr Black Face-san, Mr Sticky Head-san, and Mr Wet Head-san!
I’m having so much fun re-reading some of the fairy tales and I decided that I should recommend some of my favorite beauty products to them. A number of these beauties really need all the help they can get, especially in the beauty department. So what products will I introduce, and why should they be using these products? Well, read on to find out my tongue-in-cheek version.
ChopSaver Original Lip Balm for Sleeping Beauty