The real reason why I can’t find clothes to wear

I’m really pleased with myself this week. I managed to score two new dresses without spending more than S$10! Well, actually, these are my old ankle length dresses and I just had them shortened to above my knee. I was clearing my wardrobe a bit and found them lying at the bottom. I think they must be about 10 years old now but because they still look so brand new and I hardly wore them, I was reluctant to throw them out. Well, good thing I didn’t because vintage is in and they’re wearable now. Never mind they’re not pretty dresses but they’re good enough for work. So go dig your wardrobe…you might have something you have use for now.

Anyway, I have a fashion gripe this week. It seems that all my life, I’m dressing to please someone else other than myself. First, it was my mom and now, it’s my hubby. They’re always criticizing my fashion choices and I find it hard to buy anything without thinking if they’ll say something negative. Believe me, it’s exasperating! According to my husband, my dress sense is quirky. Well, I’m not quite sure about that but I don’t think my choices are in poor taste. In fact, just the other day, a lady stranger complimented me on my coordination out of the blue.

And to think that I used to be quite creative in the fashion department. As a matter of interest, I used to sew my own clothes and if I were younger, I’d probably end up being a fashion blogger than a beauty blogger! But now, I just wish I can dress for myself more often without being judged. Yes, I can of course if I want, but I just hate to see the look on my husband’s face. If he’s not passing some mean remarks, he’ll be giving me a dirty look. I no longer have much fashion creativity so to speak and I guess that’s why I am always finding it hard to shop for clothes! And it’s even more annoying that he has more clothes than me!


  1. AtelierGal says:

    I face almost a somewhat similar issue. There’s a brown scarf that I had no idea what to pair up with, bought 5 years ago.

    Recently I took it out of the plastic bag and pair it with an outfit I thought would look good assembled together. And I was right!

    Guess it’s a change in attitude towards certain stuff and I’m more able to accept daring combinations? lol

  2. Jyoan says:

    That’s really creative of you to shorten the dress! I would have just recycled my clothes.

  3. stella says:

    you’re funny but men… what do they know about fashion?! if he’s giving you a dirty look, you’re probably doing something right! lol

  4. Ms. Lips says:

    Poor you! The whole point about fashion is to make a statement about who you are and to feel comfortable while doing it. So if it’s quirky, so be it! Quirky is not bad at all. Better than say “color-blind” ? Men’s idea of fashion is usually to blend in with the crowd and to have clothes that fit while doing it. Therein lies the conflict. So I say, take all that dirty looks with a pinch of salt and do your own thing!

  5. sesame says:

    You’re right…sometimes our perspectives change overtime. I hated the gray dress but it doesn’t look so bad now that it’s shortened.

  6. sesame says:

    Haha…I think it’s only because I wanted a short dress and it crossed my mind now to alter them.

  7. sesame says:

    Oh…that’s an interesting point. Maybe the dirty look is to get me to wear something more “obscure”.

  8. sesame says:

    Oh my…you’re so right about men’s idea of blending in with the crowd! That’s precisely what he’s been saying, that some of my choices are odd. He has no comments about my working clothes though cos they’re conservative, safe looking and boring! And sometimes, he can suggest that I wear my working clothes to certain events. ?

  9. Ms. Blacklace says:

    I know how you feel. when i was younger like in primary school, my mom would not let me wear what i want. only skirts and dresses, no jeans. and those clothings were not bought. they were given to me by other people, and they were so… gaudy. but around 15 years old, my mom allowed me to wear whatever i want. so that’s ok now. for men’s matters, my ex-boyfriend used to complain:”why cant you dress like the other girls? it’s either you dress like you’re going to a rock show. or you dress like some goth.” I tried to dress to his taste but i got sick of it. and reverted back to my own style. and when he complained again, i just told him:”too bad you’re stuck with me.” lol.

  10. caramel says:

    I totally understand when you say it is hard to buy anything without thinking how your hubby will say something negative. I have been having the same agony for years, what I like is totally different from my bf’s taste, and even though I tried really hard I realise in the end 90% of the time I am dressing up to suit his preference in fashion. It’s got to do with lack of self confidence, but this year I have decided to go back to my bohemian style and forget about his preferred glam style ?

  11. Ms. Blacklace says:

    oh yes… just the other day, i decided to wear my corset outside my shirt instead of inside. i did get stares from other people but hey… at least i’m not wearing those tiny shorts/skirts or those low cut tops! i’m still decently dressed!

    my friends already got used to my fashion sense. they told me that if i start to dress like other girls then something is wrong with me.

  12. sesame says:

    Wow, that must be interesting. I like your fashion adventure! It’s really good to wear what you like when you’re younger and be daring. I’m glad I was more experimental when I was younger. I’m sure I had some fashion blunders but I’ll call it creative blunders. At least, I can look back with some sense of satisfaction.

  13. sesame says:

    Gaudy. Yikes. I hated shopping with my mom. And cos of her, I hate black now. Parental conditioning!

  14. sesame says:

    Hey, I love bohemian style. I can never be glam too and I can understand how you must have felt, wearing something you’re not entirely comfortable with.

  15. 763092 says:

    I think you look great in them. A wise decision to recycle them. Save money with a good cause.

    Great to go with scarf too. =)

  16. sesame says:

    Thanks! Yes, a scarf would be a nice accessory too.

  17. Justina says:

    Ditch your husband! Haha then you wont be feeling upset cause of his nasty comments! =D

  18. Yiting says:

    i will always remember one thing that my mom said to me, “you know. i think u really cant wear anything that covers your shoulders. those regular t-shirts etc, u dont look nice in them afterall” this was after she complained tat i was always wearing tube tops and spagetti straps. but my mom’s sense of fashion is thankfully alright usually, although she has a personal tendency to black which i’m trying to wean her off. my boyfriend doesnt like me to wear my three quarters (which i wear on a daily basis cause i’m just going to school) and he thinks that i kind of look “auntie” in them *roll eyes* i think guys at his age prefer micro minis and skin, he’s been bugging me to wear something more skimpy.

    p.s: i realised that when doing homemade fruit masks, especially when it comes to soft berries, it’s a great idea to use those tiny graters, u get juice and fine pulp which is quite different from what u’ll get if u simply mash them using a fork.

  19. ann says:

    Hi Sesame, this is totally unrelated to your post. Just found it very strange that ever since the new year, I have not been receiving email alerts on your articles. Tried to resubscribe but the system said that I’m already on the list.

  20. sesame says:

    Haha…that did cross my mind some time or another.

  21. sesame says:

    Oh good that you have your mom to give you wise tips. But surprise your bf wants you to wear something more skimpy. Usually, it’s the other way around.

    Tiny graters? If I get you right, I think I was using some of it in my earlier days to grate some of the fruits and vegs. I agree that fork can be a little tricky sometimes. I currently use a grating spoon.

  22. sesame says:

    Not sure if the messages went to the spam box? But I just went to the system and removed your email subscription. Can you re-subscribe again?

  23. JackieA says:

    Sesame….I share your sentiments about being controlled on your choice of dressing! All it took was a certain ‘look’ from my mom, when I was younger, to send me scurrying to my room to change into something she approved of. Thankfully my husband loves my dress sense and is totally supportive of whatever I choose to wear. I love how you’ve revamped your dresses. Its cool to take something out and look at it differently and see the potential there.

  24. pf1123 says:

    Haha…my mum will try to impose on me her ideas when we shop. Usually she is trying to tell me not to spend money. But I just ignore her. So, I don’t shop with her. She will often say I look fat or the clothes I picked out is ugly, etc. Very negative.

    Its true that I’m big size and many clothes don’t fit well on me. But its all in the attitude I think. If I were to stick with my mum’s opinion, I’ll NEVER be able to find anything to wear.

    I’m not used to wearing anything skimpy because they just reveal my fats. But recently I got more bold in my dressing and bought a few off 1 shoulder kind of tops. I’ve noticed that I make good impression on guys when I wear them. So, even though my arms are quite fleshy, I wear them anyway.

  25. sesame says:

    Oh you’re lucky you have such a sweet husband. Mine is evil in his comments!

  26. sesame says:

    Good that you’re moving out of your comfort zone to try new styles. It’s good to be adventurous and get some positive impressions as a result.

    I used to ignore my mom too especially when I started shopping with my own money. But it’s not just clothes…my hairstyle, blah blah never met her expectations too. Oh, even my wedding gown.

  27. pf1123 says:

    Yes. Thats a pain. Just ignore these ppl, or else life would be difficult.

  28. crazymommy says:

    Aiya.. maybe your man just didn’t want you to look too good la! Later he got headache because more men will look at you mah!

    PS: You look really stylo milo, esp the one in grey outfit! I love your cool style!!

  29. sesame says:

    Haha…I don’t think so. He just like me to dress simply.

    Wa…thanks for your compliments. Not so stylo lah. But surprised that the grey outfit turned out nice. It was quite awful when the dress was long.

  30. Suz says:

    my situation is…the fact people think I look old…I don’t know if it’s my clothes…which usually are dark…and not much color…I love fashion and can tell people what should be worn and what should not be and all that stuff…but when it comes to myself…I can’t be fashionable..nor do I know what to buy for an office setting without…looking like Christmas tree with too much color

  31. sesame says:

    Colors do have an effect. Generally, dark colors can age a person. What about pastel shades? Would that suit you? I use pink sometimes…not a favorite color but it’s okay. I also like white because it makes me more alert looking.

    Length is also another issue. I find that anything over the knee can also make one look older while knee length is nice and appropriate for office wear.

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