Share: have you ever mistaken a boy for a girl?

Does this look like a lady to you? Or boy, do I have serious problems with my eyesight? That hairstyle, that complexion and that attire all scream of femininity to me! I swear I thought this is a girl when I first saw the picture and was quite shock to discover this is a ‘he’ and he is Korean celebrity, Jang Geun Suk. Okay, I’m not familiar with Korean celebrities and neither is this a post to discuss about them. But geez, this reminds me of a very embarrassing incident when I mistook a boy for a girl just about a year ago.

The problem with names
You see, I’m horrible with names and I can’t for the life of me, figure the gender based on names. An example is Andrea, that I have problems with because it is pronounced differently according to the gender and I can’t figure which is which. So once, I came across a name (not Andrea) in a list and was wondering if that name belonged to a boy or a girl. The person bearing that name shed no light either. Well, that was a ‘he’ whom I mistook for a girl because of his looks and that he was always in the company of girls. Now this is a teenager of about 18 years old and I still couldn’t tell. So I cautiously avoided any mention of the gender but one day, shit hit the fan and I made the terrible mistake of calling him a ‘she’ and the whole group burst out in roaring laughter, much to the embarrassment of the poor guy. And the next time I saw him, he came with a little goatee and that made me felt worst – oh no…I must have scarred him for life!

Androgyny is confusing
This wasn’t the only incident. I had problems identifying the gender of another teen, who looked like a boy with a girl’s name. The good thing was, I was very careful and never made another horrible mistake like the first. Seriously, I wish girls and boys just look like girls and boys. This whole pretty boy taking on the androgynous look is really confusing me for some of them look too feminine to me. Boys Before Flowers or Flowers Before Boys…oh, please save me from further embarrassment already!

So today’s question is: have you ever mistaken someone’s gender based on how they look? Or have you ever had your gender mistaken based on how you look? (¬_¬”)

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    • sesame says

      Erm…can you use your own name in the comment pls? Update: sorry…perhaps that’s your name too. 😛

  1. Reese says

    I like him in his previous hairstyle, this style is definitely too pretty for my taste. Why are teens worshiping more pretty boys now with eyeliners/powdered face/longer hair? I remember even during my teen years, even the Japanese celebs who use eyeliners looked manlier.

    • sesame says

      I had to google for his images to see how he looks. I can’t even recognize him with short hair. But with the long curly hair, definitely look like a girl to me.

  2. sharon says

    haha well ive been confused as well before. the other day i couldnt tell if the person was a boy or a girl. the person had a very short hair cut, boyish flat figure and was wearing sneakers and was holding hands with a girl so I thought it was a boy. turns out it was a girl.

    ive been mistaken for a boy when i was a kid though. my mom used to give me the awful bowl haircut and one day I was in the lift with my dad and brother and this lady said to my dad “oh your TWO boys are so cute!”

    lol i refused the bowl haircut after that!

    • sesame says

      So good thing I’m not alone in this. I feel so embarrassed and so terrible, having mistaken the poor boy’s identity.

      I think being mistaken is still okay when one is a kid but not when one is much older like 18 years old! And incidentally, my mom liked to dress my brothers as girls when they were little. Don’t ask me why. It was hilarious looking at their pictures.

  3. says

    The good-looking guy in your picture definitely look like a man but the feminine scarf he wore is very misleading anyway. If I must name gender mistaken experience, then that is Poy (a famous TH ladyboy). “v

    • sesame says

      Yeah, the features are boyish but the scarf and also the hairstyle are feminine. Poy is someone who underwent a sex change isn’t it? She looks like a girl. So that don’t really count. Heheh.

  4. mel says

    haha i’ve always been mistaken for a male in emails and correspondences due to my chinese name. in fact i know of males with my chinese name in china! thank god nobody made that mistake in real life!!

    • sesame says

      Same here…those in the West have no idea if I am a male or female just reading my name unless I identify myself through writing.

  5. says

    To my amusement and sometimes chagrin, I have been mistaken as a boy when I have short hair and was younger. Now that I’m older and have long hair, I don’t get that problem any more thankfully haha!
    Stephanie/Yukaeshi last post is: Just A Short Note…

    • sesame says

      Ah…can understand why you were frustrated. But you’ve outgrown it! I saw your profile picture – you’re a beautiful lady!

      • says

        I’d admit, it was slightly frustrating, also maybe because I was young- about 15-17 that time haha! Aww thank you so much Ms Sesame :)
        Stephanie/Yukaeshi last post is: Just A Short Note…

  6. says

    When I was young, some did mistook me for a boy because I have short hair.:P

    Seriously, nowadays, it’s becoming more difficult for me to identify the who’s a boy and who’s a girl. Many are becoming totally the opposite of their own gender!
    Alexandra last post is: Review: Moogoo Udder Cream

    • sesame says

      Haha…tell me about it. I also forgot to mention that it’s also hard to figure from some of their voices.

    • sesame says

      Yeah, that’s definitely a giveaway but the two cases I encounter were not evident and their voices were not manly…yet.

  7. says

    Lol .. that reminds me when I was young I came into a new class. And there was this girl who looked very boyish .. and I was unsure for like two weeks or so wether its a boy or a girl. She was even talking to me and being very nice .. I was puzzled if it was a boy who was flirting with me or a girl just wanting to make friends with me 😀 When we had gender seperated gym classes I found out that she was a girl 😀

    • sesame says

      That’s funny…you must have felt kind of awkward! I once went on a trip and a girl was in my group. She looked like a boy then and when we passed by the red light district in Bangkok, the pimps were all trying to get her into their clubs! Really hilarious.

  8. lazeny says

    He looks really pretty =)

    I’m often mistaken for a man, especially from the side and if I’m wearing a pony tail. I have a very high male hormones and I have facial hair (and body hair) so from the side I look like I have a fine mustache. I don’t bother bleaching or waxing though.

    Most service crews and guards would call me “Sir” then backpedal and call me “Ma’am” when they see my “upper body”

    • sesame says

      You’re very gracious that you don’t seem annoyed when you’re being mistaken. It can be too much trouble bleaching and waxing but you can try threading if you want. It is quite convenient and easy.

  9. Leila says

    If you find that confusing (although the picture looks male to me, but styled in a feminine way) then check out the new Australian/Eastern European model Andrej Pejic.

    Seriously, it’s so disconcerting looking at him, since he’s far too pretty. In fact, he gets away with modeling women’s clothes too. He can look somewhat masculine if styled right, but his femininity is on a whole other level that I’ve never seen in other androgynous males. It’s far too strange to look at him.

      • Leila says

        I know right? I’ve never seen another androgynous male look as feminine as him though. Most just look feminine for a man, but not ultra-feminine. Andrej looks feminine even for a woman! It’s funny when he models womenswear though, in your mind, that’s a man, no woman, no man…!

        It seems androgyny is very in vogue right now and not just in Asia!

        • sesame says

          He is so gorgeous, he puts some of the women to shame. And he’s still a man biologically right and not like those who have undergone an operation.

      • Leila says

        Yeah he’s biologically male, no operations at all. There are even pictures of him as a boy, but he looked like a boy. Apparently he started looking more feminine from his teenage years.

        He certainly does put some women to shame, he has preternatural beauty.

        It’s captivating but a little disturbing at the same time, I don’t know how to describe it (others seem to have this opinion too). I’ve never seen anything like it.

        • sesame says

          I can understand what you’re saying about that being disturbing. And what about his state of mind especially when it comes to relationships…gets me thinking if this what we call bisexual at the very extreme.

  10. says

    No, I find it easy to identify. I’m shamely used to it. But my mom always asks me the gender. And I’m always right haha.
    But I have serious trouble identifying the gender in the internet because for some odd reason I always think everyone is female haha.

    • sesame says

      How come? Maybe they all look very perfect in the pictures? I had a problem with that complexion…with no traces of hair whatsoever.

  11. Rennie says

    Oh my. Jang Geun Suk what are you wearing? -__- Hahaha, when feminine boys are all ‘the rage’ right now and seemingly every male asian pop star you see sprout the ‘look’ I have my shares of mistaken genders also. Haha, don’t worry, you are not alone to this. I think there was one time when I mistaken a girl for a boy also…

    • sesame says

      It started in Japan and now I see it more in Korea but apparently, it’s global. Gender identity is becoming very loose.

  12. chenyze says

    Not anymore but throughout primary school, yes! In fact when I went to get my passport done at age 11, the guy had put down my gender as Male! Great opportunity to convince my mom to finally let me get more feminine-looking haircuts!

  13. says

    Is that a faint hint of a breast I see? I could be wrong but seriously, why do men want to look like women and women want to look like men? You are what nature blessed you with. Be confident in your sexuality.

    • sesame says

      Ok…at least I’m not alone because the others are all saying they can tell he’s a guy. 😛

  14. says

    I’ve got a pretty strong gender radar. I’ve never been wrong, lol. But unfortunately, when I was in my teenage years, i was mistaken for a boy once.

    My Mom brought me to a shop to buy my prom dress. Since I used to be quite lazy to dress up (still am), I wore very loose tshirt and loose pair of bermudas–basically guy’s clothes. My hair was not short, it was tied in a ponytail. The SA’s welcoming message to us went something like this,
    “Wow, your boy is quite tall and thin. I’ve got the perfect tux for him. For prom, yeah?”

    I wasn’t offended because I knew even then that my features can be pretty strong when I’m thin.
    EcoBeauty last post is: DIY: Aloe-Rosemary Energizing Scalp Mask for Thicker Hair

  15. purrbliss says

    most of the korean male idols totally look like girls when they dressed up 😀
    google ‘taemin’ and ‘ukiss kevin’ and ‘heechul’


  16. Cee says

    Nope. I’ve never really mistaken guys as girls, unless of course they deliberately look like girls… as in they have boobs and they wears skirts. Even then, I usually could tell if they were guys.

    Oddly, I’m not really good at distinguishing girls. When a girl looks like a guy… small boobs, short haircut, manly gestures… I usually can’t tell that they’re not guys. I don’t know why. I usually make the mistake of mistaking a girl as a guy. >o<

    • sesame says

      The times I had trouble with were the boys and not the girls…I had problems identifying girls sometimes but I’ll figure after awhile. Anyway, I’m just poor at judging looks…I always need someone to point out to me and that’s only when I realize. I need to be careful so that I’ll not embarrass or hurt anyone with my carelessness.

  17. cook says

    i mistook a girl for being a boy cuz she sounded like a young boy but then i saw her feminine curvy body then u could see she wasnt a boy at first i didnt see her i only heard her voice

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